Three ways to maintain emotional attachment in long-term relationships

Emotional intimacy plays a decisive role in long-term relationships or marriages. The excitement of the initial infatuation is long gone. What remains now, and what is actually much more valuable, is your bond. It allows both partners to be vulnerable and talk openly about their feelings. This kind of intimacy creates a safe place where you can express yourselves and be understood and accepted at the same time. So, there is a lot of quality of life here for both of you.

Intimacy does not stay by itself

In "boring" everyday life, we easily take our partner for granted, which leads to us asking fewer questions and communicating more out of habit than out of curiosity. Over time, this can lead to us passing each other by. Intimacy and connection are lost, which is what makes long-term relationships so special. Here are three ways to foster emotional intimacy and connection in your relationship:

1. Conscious communication

Bewusst kommunizieren bedeutet, sich wirklich Zeit zu nehmen, um Gedanken und Gefühle miteinander zu teilen. Dabei hilft: 

Active listening

Really listen to your partner without interrupting or immediately judging. Show interest and understanding for what he or she is saying. Ask questions instead of giving advice.

Share your feelings

Talk openly about your fears, hopes and dreams. Never assume that the other person already knows everything about you and has to accept how you feel. Sharing feelings creates a deeper connection and helps to avoid misunderstandings.

Regular conversations

Schedule regular times when you can talk undisturbed. This could be a weekly "check-in" where you talk about your relationship and your individual feelings.

2. Time and activities together

Spending time and doing activities together strengthens the bond and creates shared memories. These experiences help to build a deeper emotional connection. 

Quality over quantity

Consciously make time for each other without distractions such as cell phones or TV. It can be a walk, dinner together or just time on the couch.

Shared hobbies

Find activities that you both enjoy and that you can enjoy together. It can be something new that you try out together or a hobby that you both love.

Establish rituals

Small daily or weekly rituals, such as having coffee together in the morning or going for a walk in the evening, are simple ways to maintain an emotional bond.

3. Emotional support and assistance

A safe place in the relationship means that both partners feel supported and understood. You feel like a team and know that you can rely on each other in difficult times. Always remember that: 

Show empathy

Versetze dich in die Lage deines Partners und versuche, seine Gefühle nachzuvollziehen. Zeige Mitgefühl und Verständnis, besonders in schwierigen Zeiten.

Offer support

Be there for your partner when he or she needs support. This can be done by listening, offering comfort or practical help.

Respect boundaries

Respect your partner's boundaries and show that you take his or her feelings and needs seriously. This creates trust and security.

You want to work on your connectedness

Many couples’ therapists recommend counseling as a form of prevention. Even if you have the feeling that your relationship is very strong, it can be interesting to talk about it with someone from outside. It's not about finding fault, but about giving the relationship a safe space in which certain issues and experiences can be discussed more consciously and specifically. Counseling sessions are not everyday conversations and can bring a breath of fresh air, new ideas and approaches into the relationship.