Emotional manipulation can be subtle yet profound. It affects our decisions and our well-being. But how do we get into such situations, and, more importantly, how do we get out of them? In this blog article, we take a look at the deciding factors and I share some ideas to help you detach from the person manipulating you.
How do we get into emotional manipulation?
The emotional factor
Emotional manipulation triggers strong feelings in us, such as fear, guilt or shame. In such emotional states, it is difficult to look at the situation rationally. Often, the desire to support our partner also plays a role. We feel obliged to help because we believe it is the right thing to do.
Personal background
Not everyone is equally susceptible to emotional manipulation. Our personality and childhood experiences play a crucial role. Here are some traits that also make us more likely to be tempted or unwilling to let go:
- A great need for recognition and self-doubt: When someone who is constantly testing us (as is the case with manipulation) gives us recognition, it has a special effect. Why? Because we crave validation, especially from someone whose opinion is hard to win. Self-doubt makes us more likely to believe the manipulator because they doubt us, too. We then want to prove to them that we can do better.
- Fear of anger, rejection and confrontation: When we prefer to please others to avoid unpleasant reactions. And when we don't want to be the person who provokes unpleasant reactions in someone because we then feel guilty, it is more difficult for us to set boundaries.
- Wanting peace at all costs: If we can't let go and want to resolve the situation at all costs, we will repeatedly engage in the same dynamic in order to be understood.
How do we get out of emotional manipulation?
Strategies you can apply starting NOW
An important step is the clear decision to no longer allow manipulation. Supporting tools can help you set boundaries and stay true to yourself:
- A contract with yourself: Write down rules and personal goals. What do you want to achieve, and what changes are necessary to protect yourself better?
- Power statements: One or two short sentences that support you in critical moments, e.g. “Although you reject me, I stay alive” or “I feel better without you.”
- Affirmations and rewording of beliefs: We may have come to believe through manipulation, for example, “What I want is not okay.” Recognizing such assumptions and rephrasing them - let's say, “I ask for something because it is important to me” - supports our self-worth and helps us to stay with ourselves.
Working with personal backgrounds
In the long term, it can be very important to work through personal backgrounds. Such as the fear of rejection. This means dealing with one's own experiences and imprints in order to more easily recognize and break patterns.
You can be nice to yourself
Recognizing and overcoming emotional manipulation takes courage and determination. It's about understanding and protecting yourself better without judging yourself. The guilt lies not with you, but with the manipulative person. Remain patient and compassionate with yourselfas you go down this path. With the right strategies and tools, you can regain your emotional autonomy and have healthier relationships.
English 
Deutsch 
Español de Ecuador