{"id":927,"date":"2024-09-02T17:11:04","date_gmt":"2024-09-02T17:11:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/?p=927"},"modified":"2024-09-10T16:22:46","modified_gmt":"2024-09-10T16:22:46","slug":"trennungsschmerz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/en\/trennungsschmerz\/","title":{"rendered":"The pain of separation - Get some closure"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"927\" class=\"elementor elementor-927\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7414c8e e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7414c8e\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b0c88c1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"b0c88c1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"432\" src=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-768x432.png\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-918\" alt=\"Wir brauchen einen klaren Abschluss\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-18x10.png 18w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10-1320x743.png 1320w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/10.png 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5ec853b2 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"5ec853b2\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-389dd439 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"389dd439\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2><strong>Clear closure is not always possible<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Break-ups are particularly difficult to overcome if the end has remained open and no clarifying and concluding conversation has been able to take place. Somehow you are still stuck in the misunderstandings, want to clarify open questions and old arguments are circling around in your head. At the same time, however, it is precisely this lack of understanding that leads to a couple breaking up. It is therefore somehow logical that a clarifying conclusion cannot be reached.<\/p>\n<p>How do you get out of such a dilemma so that you can come to terms with the situation for yourself?<\/p>\n<h3>There is no closure<\/h3>\n<p>Als ich diesen Satz zum ersten Mal h\u00f6rte, wurde mir auf einmal einiges klar. Ich dachte selbst lange, dass wir immer das kl\u00e4rende Gespr\u00e4ch suchen sollten, um einen Schlussstrich unter eine Situation ziehen zu k\u00f6nnen. Klar, weil gegenseitiges Verst\u00e4ndnis Frieden gibt. Die Fronten sind gekl\u00e4rt. Das Problem bei dieser Situation ist, dass sie <a href=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/en\/reciprocity\/\">nie nur von mir selbst abh\u00e4ngig ist<\/a>. Wenn ich auf einen kl\u00e4renden Abschluss hoffe, dann gebe ich immer auch einen Teil meines m\u00f6glichen Friedens in die H\u00e4nde des anderen: Wird er das, was ich ihm versuche zu erkl\u00e4ren, auch so verstehen, wie ich es meine? Wird er mir eine Sichtweise schildern, die ich nachvollziehen kann?<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Often it causes more harm tan good<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>With the hope of finding a common denominator, we can burden ourselves and the other person again and again. Perhaps it is already clear to both of you that the relationship is over. You don't agree on why or what happened and you keep talking about the same topics and it never ends. That is also hurtful.<\/p>\n<p>Often, a break-up only comes from one person. Despite explanations, the other person doesn't understand why and needs more. The reasons given by the partner may not make sense to him or her. He or she has a different opinion. So, he or she clings to the need to understand and to be heard. This is understandable, something important has been taken from him or her and they cannot undo it. At the same time, a separation cannot be dependent on both parties being in agreement. That would force the other person to stay, even if he\/she wants to leave.<\/p>\n<p>The demand for a \"better\" explanation is therefore also a burden for both.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Finding closure for yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>It is often fairer to yourself and your ex-partner to find closure for yourself. This means accepting that you can't and don't have to understand everything. It is unavoidable that two people can experience the same relationship differently and may have different reasons for breaking up.<\/p>\n<p>Den Abschluss f\u00fcr sich selbst zu finden bedeutet, zu akzeptieren, dass man keine absolute Kontrolle \u00fcber die Situation bekommen kann. Man hat schlie\u00dflich <a href=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/en\/how-important-it-is-to-forgive\/\">keine Kontrolle \u00fcber den anderen<\/a> und kommt nur wieder zu sich selbst, wenn man die Situation losl\u00e4sst.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Finding your own conclusi\u00f3n<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>It can be helpful to find a phrase or a mantra that you say to yourself over and over again to internalize a conclusi\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>For example:<\/p>\n<p>\"My girlfriend broke up with me because she needed a change.\"<\/p>\n<p>\"I don't understand what happened, because it's not easy to understand the other person exactly. Accepting and respecting his decision is also giving love.\"<\/p>\n<p>\"I'm angry and disappointed about your decision, but I can't change it.\"<\/p>\n<p>In counseling, you can also work out such phrases in more detail for yourself. It's always about taking something away from the experience for yourself and remaining respectful towards both parties.<\/p>\n<p>This is not an easy step to take, which is why many people seek counseling after a break-up in order to better understand themselves and the situation. Counseling can help you find meaning for yourself, come to terms with the experience and look forward again.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-36b30dd e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"36b30dd\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0a02d62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"0a02d62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"432\" src=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-768x432.png\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-920\" alt=\"Mit dem Thema abschliesen und Frieden finden.\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-18x10.png 18w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12-1320x743.png 1320w, https:\/\/dialogaryconstruir.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/12.png 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ein klarer Abschluss ist nicht immer m\u00f6glich Trennungen sind besonders schwer zu \u00fcberwinden, wenn das Ende offen geblieben ist und kein kl\u00e4rendes und abschlie\u00dfendes Gespr\u00e4ch zustande kommen konnte. Man steckt dann irgendwie noch in den Missverst\u00e4ndnissen fest, m\u00f6chte offene Fragen kl\u00e4ren, und alte Auseinandersetzungen kreisen im Kopf. Gleichzeitig f\u00fchrt aber gerade das Nicht-Verstehen dazu, dass [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":918,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-927","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-krisen"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Trennungsschmerz - Mit dem Thema abschlie\u00dfen - Dorothee von St\u00f6sser<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Trennungsscherz kommt oft dadurch, dass wir keinen klaren Abschluss finden, weil wir die Trennung nicht verstehen. 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